So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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