the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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