I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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