you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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