you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
where are my eyebrows?
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