two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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