Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  Umm I'm too high to move.

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  (858): Umm I'm too high to move. http://tfl.nu/ye5s
  Replies (7) Good night (1497) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
  Replies (18) Good night (3747) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Win!

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  (334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender. (205): Win! http://tfl.nu/0n6n
  Replies (12) Good night (5111) Bad night (638)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse

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  (785): so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse http://tfl.nu/82q3
  Replies (10) Good night (558) Bad night (4030) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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  (609): i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you. http://tfl.nu/fon6
  Replies (9) Good night (772) Bad night (3834) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito

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  (617): i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito http://tfl.nu/zxd0
  Replies (3) Good night (1557) Bad night (1434) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.

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  (510): listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'. http://tfl.nu/236r
  Replies (22) Good night (3344) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.

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  (713): The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/rdxs
  Replies (2) Good night (1340) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.

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  (806): Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk. (1-806): Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess. http://tfl.nu/c175
  Replies (15) Good night (2409) Bad night (1006)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester

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  (830): Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester http://tfl.nu/187b
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.

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  (570): The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night. http://tfl.nu/1ay9
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (375)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us

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  (303): They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us http://tfl.nu/8tzs
  Replies (11) Good night (830) Bad night (1413) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (719) Bad night (268) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Haha hell yea

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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  (980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (235)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt

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