I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize