What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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