so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize