How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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