I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize