So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize