as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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