R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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