lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize