So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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