bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize