I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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