so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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