Your dad touched me again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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