i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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