maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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