I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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