i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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