in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize