she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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