what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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