plz talk dirty to me
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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