some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
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So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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