i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize