Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize