I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize