I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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