i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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