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I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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