It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize