my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize