she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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