Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives http://tfl.nu/d9wq
  Replies (137) Good night (2384) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself http://tfl.nu/96ze
  Replies (70) Good night (6911) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g
  Replies (27) Good night (7194) Bad night (1268) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy http://tfl.nu/kyus
  Replies (16) Good night (4718) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house. http://tfl.nu/g0ik
  Replies (12) Good night (7143) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions." http://tfl.nu/c9eh
  Replies (18) Good night (5027) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant. http://tfl.nu/aq1y
  Replies (25) Good night (11198) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital http://tfl.nu/iqkh
  Replies (4) Good night (2986) Bad night (1424) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy. http://tfl.nu/mzkt
  Replies (9) Good night (3028) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass http://tfl.nu/a9ff
  Replies (12) Good night (3805) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor. http://tfl.nu/leq0
  Replies (12) Good night (4078) Bad night (1362) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times." http://tfl.nu/zubu
  Replies (6) Good night (2404) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys" http://tfl.nu/5hh5
  Replies (5) Good night (466) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point. http://tfl.nu/9lwl
  Replies (3) Good night (1388) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight. http://tfl.nu/0s2q
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt

Randomize