you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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