We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
worst night to have a conscience
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize