filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize