Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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