youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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