I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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