so that wasnt chicken after all
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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