Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
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In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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