i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize