I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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